英國台灣大不同之育兒經 – 幼稚園

on Mar 30 in 世界大不同, [育兒經] 愛兒 tagged by
Emily@UK - El 1st time being in a McDonald

愛兒第一次去麥當勞,正啃著炸雞塊呢.當時13個半月大.

 

愛兒十四個半月大,10.9 公斤,剛戒了早上的奶瓶,改用杯子喝牛奶,晚上睡前的奶瓶想過一陣子也把它戒了.
她很愛在戶外散步,只要一出門她就像脫韁野馬似的拉都拉不回來,最後總得像顆橄欖球似地將她一把抱起,一邊往回走她還一邊猛搖頭,意思就是「不要回去啦」.
雖然挺有自己的意見,但是她算「認份」的,一旦清楚了她無法改變現況的時候,她也不會很白目地哭鬧不休 (聽說她外婆小時候就是這樣盧),還是會開開心心地跟我回去,相當好騙,喔,不是,是好哄的孩子.

這一趟說要搬回台灣,大小事都有,但沒有比為愛兒選幼稚園導致更多爭議的.
我以為自己對幼稚園的要求很簡單,卻意外地搞出一連串的爭論,天吶,這才體會到東西方理念真的差很多!
尤其一扯到孩子的教育,哪個父母不是要給小孩最好的,但你覺得最好未必是我的最好,沒有誰錯,就是理念需求不同罷了,可是也正因為這樣,這是很難說服對方的阿.

簡單地說,我認為兩歲的小孩教育重點在於性情與良好生活習慣的培養,教她與人處世要謙恭有禮,了解自己的每個行為都會對週遭人物造成影響,懂得反省改過,養成閱讀與思考的習慣等等。這些都靠父母師長以身作則,給予一致性的規範準則,獎罰分明.
我個人是不贊成體罰的,用打他來教他不可以打人,怎麼看都相當矛盾,這動作傳達出的訊息頂多是「我說的出理由就可以打人」,「我比對方大或者地位比較高就可以打人」.
我們小時候那個年代的父母都是拿著藤條拜託老師教訓自己的孩子,我自然也是這樣被打大的,Steve 是沒被打過的,但是他比我成熟,人生的路上他犯的錯比我少多了,因此我並不覺得不打不成器,我不就是個鐵証?不也沒多大出息.

孩子們這個階段在發展肌肉等手眼協調等,學習注意力,發揮想像力,這些都是可以在玩樂中學習的。
台灣和中國的孩子都有一個很大的弱點,就是缺乏想像力,沒有創造力,看事情的角度相當侷限,標準填鴨式教育系統的產物.這些咱們都知道,這個問題存在多年了,才會搞出個「教改」,卻越改越亂.
以前總覺得自己的童年夠可憐的了,天天都要補習,從沒想過現在的孩子竟然還可以更可憐,他們何只是天天補習,還得趕場咧!我不怕貪官,貪就貪吧,有在做事我也可以睜隻眼閉隻眼,惟獨「蠢官」真是令人髮指,錯誤的政策比貪官更可怕.
扯遠了,總之既然今天我能有選擇,我就不願意讓愛兒受這樣填鴨式的教育,不能讓她去學校從星期一坐到星期五,早上七點聽到下午五點.
有些人可能會說是我放不開孩子,但真的不是,事實上我很期待她開始上學的那一天,我想我可能會是看著她穿上制服,在她校門口感動地狂哭的那種媽,但是她才不到兩歲,那跟上班沒兩樣的生活,不是一歲多的孩子該做的事.

台灣幼稚園之所以總要上全天課,還不是為了配合父母的工作,因為父母不能不工作,孩子總要有人照顧。而一整天的課程安排是為了應付即將面對的台灣壓力極大的教育系統。
如果可以不必擔心收入,多花一點時間在家陪孩子長大,哪個爸媽會不願意?
如果孩子可以快樂地長大,做他想做的事,將來都能有好工作,哪個父母會不爽?
說穿了,這是整個大環境的問題,不是父母自願的第一選擇.

家人推薦了一間台灣政府評鑑第一名的幼稚園,外甥們也都是去那兒上課的。說實話,他們真的是很用心教育,制度清楚,老師們都很細心照料小寶貝們,真的是可以讓人很放心的幼稚園。
唯一的缺點是他們不收半天或一兩天的,每個小朋友都一定要從星期一上到星期五,從早上七八點到下午四五點,甚至星期六早上還可以去上課。而這一點,與我的需求大相逕庭,有著很大的衝突。
愛兒是早睡的孩子,尤其跟台灣大部分的孩子比起來,上課到下午四五點才回家,愛兒七八點就要上床睡覺,那不等於我一整天都看不到她了?還得星期一上到星期五,那我不等於只負責送她上床睡覺,那還算當她娘嗎??
既然學校不收半天或兩三天,那我當然就只好另請高明,可是家人卻覺得是:「人家都評鑑第一了,你找不到更好的了」,「既然在台灣就要跟大家一樣」,「人家的小孩也是寶,都嘛搶著送去那兒」,「大家的小孩都是這樣上整天課,還不也長得很好」,「給校方添麻煩」。。。
彷彿不送孩子去這家的話,我就是天下第一大笨蛋。這不是「推薦」,簡直是強迫中獎。

不顧一切麻煩,好好的工作通通辭掉,特地要搬回台灣居住一年,為的是要讓愛兒學會中文與咱們的文化,要學台灣有而英國沒有的優點 (不多,但真的有).
台灣的教育系統亂七八糟,如果不能有選擇權,她在這邊天天上嬰兒俱樂部,三不五時去城堡裡野餐,玩得不亦樂乎,我幹嘛要帶她回去受苦,有病阿我?!
管它評鑑第一還是倒數第一,不是我要的就不是我要的,評鑑第幾名都跟我沒關係。何況我也說它的確是間好學校,他們若肯收一星期上課兩三天的孩子,我也很願意把愛兒送去阿,可是人家就不收,我也沒輒阿。
不可能因為要讓她去學習團體生活而放棄我當她娘的機會,那根本是本末倒置的事情。如果不能兩者兼具,那她就不必去幼稚園,我們自己帶,就跟現在一樣,這是完全不需要討論的事,孩子最需要的是父母。

一開始為了讓大家都高興,我說那我付全部學費,但提早去接孩子回家可以吧?這樣也不行,說我給校方添麻煩,說這樣課程會銜接不上。
說實話,這些我也都同意,也的確不想故意找校方麻煩,或者讓愛兒成為特例享有特權,這根本就是為了讓家人高興而提的建議。
再者,我就是不要她上課,卻還得擔心銜接不銜接得上,這也與我的原意不符。
商量到後來,越覺得這些都跟我當初想要的完全違背,一度差點跟我娘吵起來,那通電話講得我很火大。
他們始終無法了解,我要的就是一間能只收半天或者一星期兩天就好,只要注意生活上的規矩(儀態, 有禮貌等),讓我女兒玩得開心,環境安全乾淨,飲食衛生營養均衡,老師用心細心,這些都是基本的吧?!
因為台灣地小,唯一較有難度的是最好還有戶外環境,讓她可以自由奔跑,呼吸新鮮空氣。

我不想讓她從早上一直上課到下午,星期一上到星期五甚至星期六早上,孩子就該是孩子,我們回台灣的時候她才剛要兩歲而已耶。
後來我自己想了想,既然我不可能為了讓他們高興而違背自己的意願把孩子送去那家上全天課,退讓到底限了還是無法讓大家滿意,那就不必管其他人了,我只管讓我自己高興就行了,畢竟孩子是我的,我到時候回台灣自己去看,如果有喜歡的,高興送哪家就送哪家,管誰再多說一句。

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