我當然介意

on Dec 14 in 同生,也同有永恆 tagged by

昨天跟娘講電話,原本只是轉告一些事情而已,卻一聊又是2個多小時.
有時都不得不承認女人還真的是長舌,2天前才剛講過電話,2天後竟然又可以講上2個多小時!

目前我們小倆口的收入是以 Stevie 的為主,我這方面兼職教書或者接案子做,收入時好時壞,並不固定.
因為與公婆同住,所以開銷非常的小,幾乎我們所有的收入都可以直接變成存款.
娘問我,對於這樣的現況,我個人滿不滿意?能不能接受自己的收入微薄,必須倚靠 Stevie?
想都不用想,我的答案是:「我當然介意!」


結婚前,我預計嫁來英國之後會需要半年的時間穩定我在英國的生活,Stevie說他估計大概需要一年.
事實證明,他是對的,是我太樂觀了,或者,自視過高了.

如我寫「猛虎還是病貓」那一文的時候,是我第一次面對自己必須接受這個挫折的時候.
當時才結婚4個月,我連給自己的6個月期限都還沒有到,就已經受不了了.
從那至今,我重新調整了心態,知道心急也沒用,比較坦然面對「是的,我需要更多的時間來 settle down」.

能做的,該做的,我都做了.我查了附近的學校,對於有可能感興趣的學校寄出履歷.
另一方面我卻也清楚,今年的課程已經固定,最早我也必須等到明年4月,當所有學校重新規劃新課表的時候,才可能收到回音.
以現在來說,我是在等,等機會,等時間到,等回覆.

閒不住,剛好阿姨的咖啡館需要人手,我便去幫忙.
即便時薪不高,也不需要用到啥大腦,但我當拓展人脈,去認識新朋友,跟人聊天也好.
公婆和外婆都擔心我會嫌薪水太低,對我說「如果不喜歡可以直說,不是一定要去幫忙的」.
因為畢竟不管是教書還是寫程式,入帳都是以倍數計算的,我何必要去做勞動?
但我不羨慕高高在上的王公貴族,能屈能伸才是真功夫.
我也相信上天的每一個安排都有其用意,一個看似沒啥了不起的機會,說不定會有很具影響力的事件發生,你永遠不會知道.
說服自己現在是潛伏期,趁機進修,等有機會發揮的時候,我要比以前更強壯才行.

我娘深切了解我很好強的個性.
我並不像姐姐那樣,她很懂得充分利用資源,以幫助自己盡快達到目的.
我卻是很硬的脾氣,花多久時間都沒關係,就是要我自己辦到,要靠人幫忙的我寧可不幹,非做不可也會做的心不甘情不願.
所以當娘問我的時候,我相信她心裡一定知道我的答案,不然她根本就不需要問.

娘勸我,像姐姐那樣也沒啥不好,換個角度想,很好命,不是嗎?是,但那不是我想要的好命.
別人我沒有意見,那是個人選擇,只要她跟我爸媽都開心就好了,但我自己不行.
我對於自己的自尊心引以為傲,沒辦法接受自己到了快30歲的年紀還要靠人幫忙生存,
那樣的自己感覺很殘障,而且還是「心殘身不殘」的那種,更慘.

娘說她有準備資源幫我,如果我需要的話可以跟她說.我知道.她一向是公平的,姐姐有的,我也不會少.
我也知道,她一向很疼孩子,如果我真的需要,就算她沒有,她也會想盡辦法擠出來給我的.
全天下的好父母應該都是這樣的心情吧.
我說:「先留著吧,那是讓我安心的後盾.」
如果人生一定要苦一回,我不介意現在苦,而不是等我老了才要吃苦.
再給我一點時間,讓我再試個幾年,我不信我當真沒辦法在這裡打出一塊能讓自己立足的角落.
但萬一,假如真的不行,台灣至少是我最後一條退路.
知道自己有路可退,而且是一條不差的後路,就更敢放手一搏,在這裡跟它拼了!

126 Comments

  • Connor says:

    Hey! I know this is somewhat off-topic but I needed
    to ask. Does operating a well-established blog such
    as yours require a large amount of work? I’m completely new to blogging however I do write in my journal on a daily basis.
    I’d like to start a blog so I can share my own experience and views online.
    Please let me know if you have any suggestions or
    tips for new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!

  • Hi there, just wanted to tell you, I loved this post.
    It was helpful. Keep on posting!

  • Jody says:

    Touche. Great arguments. Keep up the amazing effort.

  • Hello all, here every one is sharing these experience, thus it’s nice to read this web site, and I used
    to visit this weblog everyday.

  • Brandon says:

    Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if
    you knew where I could get a captcha plugin for my comment
    form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and
    I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

  • Manuel says:

    Greetings from Carolina! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to
    browse your site on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy
    the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.

    I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my mobile .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G ..
    Anyhow, wonderful blog!

  • I am curious to find out what blog platform you have been using?

    I’m having some small security issues with my latest blog and I would like to find something more risk-free.

    Do you have any solutions?

  • Janina says:

    Hello, its nice piece of writing concerning media print, we
    all know media is a great source of data.

  • natalielise says:

    Awesome post. natalielise pof

  • Hayden says:

    Hmm is anyone else having problems with the pictures on this blog loading?
    I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.
    Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

  • Glenn says:

    Its such as you learn my mind! You seem to know a lot approximately
    this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something.

    I feel that you could do with a few % to force the message house a bit,
    but other than that, that is fantastic blog. A great read.
    I will definitely be back.

  • Kassie says:

    You’re so cool! I do not think I’ve read through a single
    thing like this before. So wonderful to find someone with unique thoughts on this subject.
    Seriously.. many thanks for starting this
    up. This website is one thing that is needed on the internet,
    someone with a little originality!

  • natalielise says:

    My programmer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses.
    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year
    and am nervous about switching to another platform.
    I have heard great things about blogengine.net. Is there a
    way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it?
    Any help would be greatly appreciated! plenty of fish natalielise

  • Pretty component to content. I simply stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital to assert that I acquire actually loved account your blog posts.
    Any way I’ll be subscribing on your feeds and even I
    fulfillment you access constantly fast.

  • Mable says:

    It’s perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.
    I’ve read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or advice.
    Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this
    article. I desire to read more things about
    it!

  • Debora says:

    Hi there everybody, here every one is sharing such familiarity,
    so it’s fastidious to read this web site, and I used to pay a visit
    this blog all the time.

  • smore.com says:

    I will right away clutch your rss feed as I can’t find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Please let me understand so that
    I could subscribe. Thanks. natalielise plenty of fish

  • natalielise says:

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on natalielise.
    Regards natalielise plenty of fish

  • This article will help the internet users for creating new weblog
    or even a blog from start to end.

  • When someone writes an post he/she maintains the plan of a user in his/her brain that
    how a user can be aware of it. Therefore that’s why this piece of writing is amazing.
    Thanks!

  • pof says:

    Hello, I enjoy reading through your post. I wanted
    to write a little comment to support you.

  • My brother suggested I might like this blog. He was entirely right.
    This post truly made my day. You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent for
    this information! Thanks!

  • Google says:

    Just beneath, are various absolutely not related web sites to ours, having said that, they are certainly worth going over.

  • Great article. I’m experiencing many of these issues as well..

  • Do you have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I
    was curious about your situation; we have developed some
    nice procedures and we are looking to trade strategies with other folks, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  • Hi there, I enjoy reading all of your article post. I like
    to write a little comment to support you.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks

Leave a Comment