偏食的三歲女孩艾比

on Jul 18 in 育兒經 tagged by

一個朋友的女兒,三歲的艾比有頗嚴重的飲食問題,她肯吃的東西恐怕不比十隻手指頭多。
早餐只吃一種麥片,中午一定得是同一種三明治,晚餐則是專為十個月大嬰兒設計的食品罐頭,任何部分稍有不同,她都不會吃。
她不吃新鮮的蔬菜水果,事實上從沒試過,對她來說「水果」指的是「水果口味的優格」。
就連每個小孩都愛的零食和巧克力她也有的挑剔,只吃特定的三種餅乾,三種口味的洋芋片和巧克力,其他的一概不吃也不嚐試。

不說同樣三歲的愛兒早已經坐在餐桌上吃和大人們一樣的食物,就連 16 個月大的 Tiger 都已經不屑一顧濕軟黏稠的嬰兒罐頭了,和我們吃同一桌菜了。
愛兒每天早餐的選擇多的是,要吃圓圈的喜瑞兒,玉米片或者多種形狀的綜合穀片?如果她娘我心情好,可能會賞她一些巧克力太妃口味的麥片。她也可以決定今天是否要加些葡萄乾?周末或是特殊假日,Steve 可能會做「Egg and soldiers」(雞蛋兵是一道很普通西式早餐選擇. 水煮蛋放到蛋杯裡. 烤土司塗奶油切邊邊裁成長條狀沾蛋汁),也可以是牛角麵包夾巧克力或果醬。

Emily@UK - Tiger on a trampline

Tiger 16個月大,超愛跳彈簧墊 trampoline。

 

午餐和晚餐大多是大人說了算,家裡有什麼就煮什麼,那麼小孩就得吃什麼。
趕時間的時候午餐會是三明治,其他時候可能是飯糰,壽司,炒麵,炒飯等,裡面的配料則可能是火腿肉,肉鬆,或前一天晚餐剩下的烤豬肉或雞肉等。
晚餐多是 Steve 料理,那變化就更多了,可能是義大利麵,滷牛肉,烤豬雞鴨牛羊,和各種海鮮魚類,因為有御廚在,我們家總是吃得非常豐盛。
愛兒當然有個人喜好,有些東西她很愛,有些東西她不喜歡吃,但我家的規矩:「不喜歡的東西也要吃一些,營養才會均衡」,從我娘那兒學來的,所以她算是什麼都吃的孩子。

為娘的要求且限制很多的正餐都可以這麼多選擇了,小孩最愛的零食類就更不必說,沒有不吃的,因為當我准許他們吃零食的時候,隨便我拿什麼出來,他們都會歡天喜地地唱歌跳舞。洋芋片,餅乾,巧克力,糖果,果汁,自製的鮮果冰棒,冰淇淋等。

艾比的媽媽 L 清楚地知道自己女兒的飲食問題是被她「懶」出來的,很是自責愧疚,所以不敢求助專業,但這對艾比的問題卻有害無益。
打從約六個月大起,嬰兒光喝奶是不夠的,開始需要吃食物泥。等長了牙齒,更能咀嚼顆粒狀的軟食物時,是父母廣泛地大量地讓孩子接觸各類食物的好機會。
但艾比媽因為懶,「啵」一聲地開個嬰兒罐頭比煮飯容易,所以錯過了。(但你若問我,我會說隨手抓根香蕉讓小孩塞嘴裡,比打開罐頭更容易。)
艾比對於不認識的食物極度恐懼,而她認識的食物,少得可憐,除了我前面唸過的那些東西,再也沒有她肯吃的了。

一個多月前某天艾比媽有事,請我幫忙照顧艾比。
那天晚餐,Steve 做了自製炸雞塊,薯條和茄汁黃豆,艾比只肯吃薯條,但如果薯條沾上了茄汁,就算只有一點點,她也不肯吃。
因此她盤裡食物一堆,她卻花了一整頓飯的時間唉嘆叫著要我幫她把薯條上的茄汁都擦乾淨。
我才不肯,有病阿我!誰是那樣吃飯的?!我假裝忙著照顧愛兒和 Tiger,假裝忙著吃飯,不理她,只說:「茄汁很好吃,配著薯條也很讚!」
發現沒轍,餓得很,她也把那些沾上茄汁的薯條給吃掉了!心裡很是驚喜,但表面上要假裝沒事,只鼓勵她試吃雞塊,但無果。
艾比回家後,也很驕傲地跟她的媽媽說她吃了沾茄汁的薯條喔!可見,她很清楚自己有飲食的問題。

那天洗澡時,才一說要幫她洗頭,艾比就又哭又叫地不肯,說她不喜歡水和泡泡跑進眼睛裡。
問愛兒就知道,我不是會接受「No」這個回答的媽,我說要做就是要做,她肯配合咱們就好好做,不肯配合我照樣會辦到。
我很冷很堅決地說洗是一定要洗的,並跟她解釋她該怎麼配合我,那麼水和泡泡就不會跑進她眼裡。
發現沒轍,她很乖地配合,於是我用力地誇獎她。艾比媽說,從那天起,她也都肯讓媽媽幫她洗頭了。

Emily@UK - El on a pony ride

愛兒3歲5個月,超愛騎馬。

 

重點是,從那天起至今,艾比媽半開玩笑地說了三四次,想讓我我照顧艾比幾個星期,把她的飲食問題解決了再送她回家。
每次我都當她開玩笑,笑笑地帶過,從沒正式回應過她。
那天朋友問我,我才說,說真的,我很有自信能在一個月內解決艾比吃飯的這件事,不僅讓她敢嚐試新的東西,更讓她每頓飯都正常吃。但是我認為這是她們母女倆應該要共同經歷的事,不該讓外人取代。
當媽的應該更堅強些,不要再替小孩找藉口,也不應該偷懶。媽媽的改變和堅持,小孩會看到感受到,這樣媽媽才能贏得小孩的尊重。不然就算我幫她把吃飯這件事解決了,她將來又會有新的問題讓她娘頭痛,因為她知道她娘是個 pushover,好欺負且容易控制的人。

兩周前又有個機會,讓我幫忙照顧艾比和她14個月大的弟弟 J,一早艾比媽把孩子交給我的時候,也給了我一袋艾比的晚餐,依舊是嬰兒罐頭。
我當場拒絕了,婉轉地跟她說,罐頭我就不拿了,反正就試試看她吃不吃吧。
艾比媽繼續問:「妳確定妳不帶走,以防萬一他不肯吃的話呢?」
我說:「如果有個 plan B,那她就永遠不會吃的,所以不了。」
那天晚餐艾比什麼都沒吃,直吵著說:「媽媽說她會給你一個罐頭的呀!」如果媽媽告訴她可以吃罐頭,那麼我想我完全沒有機會了。
倒是弟弟J 吃得非常好,豬肉玉米紅蘿蔔豆子和馬鈴薯,全部二話不說地吞下肚。艾比媽來接小孩的時候,我唸給她聽今天弟弟晚餐吃了些什麼,才發現這似乎是弟弟的第一頓非罐頭的晚餐…

或許是我當天早上的態度或是我說的話起了作用,從那天晚餐起,艾比媽決定改變,她告訴艾比工廠已經不再生產嬰兒罐頭了,所以她不能再吃罐頭。
到他們出遠門去度假之前,艾比一整個星期都沒吃晚餐,但是狂喝牛奶。等著瞧吧,看看當媽的能不能應付並解決吧。

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