每個孩子都很獨特

on Jan 04 in 育兒經 tagged by
Emily@UK - Tiger smiles a lot

Tiger 很愛笑。

 

教養孩子上,我絕對相信環境的影響大過一切 – 在每個人都輕聲細語的環境下長大的孩子,自然不會習慣咆嘯;在毒品充分供應的環境下長大的孩子,壓根兒不覺得吸毒有什麼不好,這我是親眼見過的.
但是親自帶著愛兒和 Tiger 長大的過去這段時間裡,發現孩子與生俱來的個性卻也是根生地固,早早便區分出每個孩子的獨特性.

愛兒從來不是那種見人就笑的孩子,面對著陌生人的時候,即便當媽的在旁鼓勵,她總是那副很有警覺性的樣子,死盯著對方瞧,說不笑就是不笑.
去到陌生的新環境也一樣,總會先站定不動或者黏我黏得緊,巴在我大腿邊轉頭到處看看,等熟絡了之後才會開始露出本性,但是一旦熟悉了以後就可以不要娘了.
在成長的過程中,每回跟我娘講 Skype 的時候,總要讓她獻一下新學了什麼新花招,或剛學會說哪些新詞彙.
在家的時候她總是非常樂意表演,逗得大家笑得開懷,可是出去的時候就未必了,要看人,看地方,看她大小姐的心情.
願意表演給公婆看,對著電腦上世界另一頭的家人們她也沒問題,也對那些經常一塊兒出去的那些媽媽們不陌生,但是其他人?Good Luck!當娘的敢打包票,十個人裡面有九個半肯定是要吃閉門羹的。

雖然是同樣爹娘生的,Tiger 卻是個天生的外交官。
他見人就笑,而且絕對是一副打從心裡就開心地笑的那種,讓每個人看了都會窩心地跟著他嘴角揚起來。
要是你再逗他玩一陣子,他不僅會願意讓你抱,還會歪著頭,貼在你胸前撒嬌呢!完全不怕生,是讓他娘非常擔心會被人抱走的小孩。
九個月大起,聽見人家說「Hiya」或「bye-bye」,他就會舉起手來,笑著跟人家揮手示意。
最喜歡玩躲猫猫,英文叫做「Peek-a-boo」,知道說「boo」的那一刻人家就會跑出來,於是我們躲起來的時候他就會一直喊「boo,boo」,就是要你跑出來讓他看見的意思,而每個人都可以跟他玩這個遊戲,他都一定會笑得天花亂墜的給你看。
說白了,他是屬於「有奶就是娘」的那種小孩,唉,當他娘真是一點特權都沒有阿。

Emily@UK - El's first ice skating

愛兒第一次溜冰。
會怕,鼓勵很久,還用冰淇淋賄絡之後才肯扶著企鵝再試一次,但後來就不怕了,會說要再回去玩喔。

 

長輩們都說見人就笑的孩子比較得人疼,是真的,起碼小時候的確會是這樣沒錯。
當娘的我把這兩個截然不同的小孩看在眼裡,並不因此就認為 Tiger 將來一定會左右逢源,或者擔心愛兒可能會矮人一截,一點都不。因為我們都知道,這兩個小傢伙往後漫長的人生裡,靠得絕不是一張嘴而已。誰起誰伏,誰好誰壞,only time will tell,只有時間知道。
只不過當母親不就是這樣嗎?要清楚自己的孩子什麼樣的個性,有什麼樣的脾氣,這就是當媽和當其他人不一樣的地方阿 – 知子莫若母唄。

對 Tiger 來說,好像每個人都差不多,沒有人他明顯地偏愛,也沒有人他特別不喜歡的,至少到目前為止我還看不出太大的差別。
但愛兒對她喜歡與否的人事物,差別待遇都挺大的。
面對自己喜歡的人們她從不掩飾,見著了便會立刻撲上去。但是如果是其他人等,別說要她主動跟你肢體上的接觸,就連她願不願意你說話都是個問題。
兩歲半起,其他同年齡的女孩們都很愛打扮成公主樣,穿著禮服,頭頂皇冠,或者假裝自己是小精靈,有漂亮的翅膀,手裡拿著魔法棒施展法術等。
可是愛兒不愛角色扮演,她認為那是奇怪的衣服,不解其意的行為,因此她幾乎從來沒有主動要求穿過那些衣服,就算我們想盡辦法慫恿她嘗試,她也頂多勉為其難地套上,然後立刻就堅持她要脫下來了。
唯獨最近有一天,她看著其他小朋友們都愛穿得要死,穿著跑來跑去,硬是不肯脫下來的模樣,也主動地試穿了一件小精靈的衣服。
我趕緊拿起相機捕捉這難得的畫面,但表面上依舊假裝沒什麼大不了的樣子,其實心裡早就驚訝地掉了下巴了:「哇!!這是愛兒第一次自己說要穿耶!!」。
當媽之後學會了「口是心非」這個技巧,應付小孩故意或者膽怯的事情,越要假裝「那根本沒有什麼」,以不變應萬變。

Emily@UK - Tiger crawling

Tiger 很好動,好奇心很重,我想因為是男孩吧。

 

愛兒算是非常理性的小孩,大多時候只要我把事情的邏輯說明白了,她總會冷靜地接受並記住,很快就學會了。
我還記得她才不過九個月大左右的時候,我教她杯子要怎麼拿才喝得到水,她很安靜地聽,沒幾次之後她就會自己把杯子轉正再拿起來喝。
同樣這件事,Tiger 杯子拿錯而喝不到水,我一樣想教他,但他總以為我要搶走他的杯子而哭鬧,從沒安靜地聽我解釋過。
倒不是誰比誰聰明,我猜想是因為 Tiger 有被姐姐從他手裡拿走東西的經驗,所以直覺反應就以為:「阿!又被搶走了…」,因而不開心的吧。
約一個月後,他也明白了我只是要幫他把杯子轉個方向讓他可以喝到水,現在他喝不到水的時候已經會自己把杯子轉過來了,也算是達成目標了吧,儘管學習的途徑不同。

Emily@UK - El walking in the woods in the snow

聖誕節前下大雪,去屋後的樹林裡散步。
總讓我想起 Narnia 的故事,覺得非常漂亮。

 

以前愛兒換尿布的時候,只要拿個玩具讓她把玩,她總會乖乖地躺好讓我把尿布換好。
現在遇到了 Tiger 會爬能站,也能扶著走的時候,幫他換尿布像在跟人摔角似的。
他小子翻來覆去,躺沒幾秒鐘就想轉過身爬走了。遇上要換大便了的尿布,簡直是如臨大敵,就怕他大爺沾滿屎的屁股去吻上我的地毯哪!
只好準備一堆玩具在旁邊隨時換給他,有時還得給他平常不准他玩的東西才能撐到讓我換完尿布。
這還不包括再把褲子穿回去的時間耶,根本就是他邊爬邊站,我自己想辦法找機會將褲子再把他套上,是配合度很差的奧客哪。

我瘦了,比當初還是位小姐,還沒有愛兒的時候更瘦一些。一樣地吃,但活動量大了,拜這兩位小姐和大爺所賜,我一天之中能坐下來的機會少得可憐。
以前小姐的時候總嫌自己胖,明明就沒啥肉了,只因為塞不下電影女明星們的 size 而嫌自己醜;現在卻是嫌自己太瘦了,我得要胖一些才好看。
我要去找點吃的了。

76 Comments

  • Emily says:

    看這篇..讓我想起你先前說的..
    一龍生九子..個個皆不相同呀~
    可以..Tiger & 愛兒都很 cute 呢!!

  • 路人 says:

    古人說天地人,大概是這道理吧。
    天性(天命)、環境(時地)、人為(本我),三者相互影響。
    父母能做的實在有限,也是最長久辛苦的責任吧。

    有了孩子真的會變瘦,不只活動量大,擔心牽掛的也增多了。
    我媽以前常說,媽媽的健康是孩子的支柱,一點也不錯,
    有機會多吃多休息吧,媽媽是終身職呢,保重,
    也祝你新年快樂,平安順心。

    • Emily@UK says:

      “媽媽的健康是孩子的支柱”… 真的是, 我現在也是這樣跟我娘說: 她只要把她的身體顧好了, 就已經是幫了我大忙!
      謝謝祝福

  • anita says:

    小孩是上天賜給最美好的禮物,因為我們有了他們才能更有愛心更有同理心,
    陪伴他們成長更了解他們,親情就是那麼濃得化不開啊…
    愛兒跟TIGER都好可愛,讓人心生喜愛,當媽的再累夢裡都能笑(吧)…
    一起加油囉~當媽可是一輩子都要操心的…
    我家兒子能翻能爬之後換尿布也跟摔角一樣耶…好累啊…XD

  • phoenix says:

    所以養兩個小孩的媽會比當小姐的時候還瘦 這句話看了真令我動心ㄚ ^^ 趕緊準備懷第二胎比較好 呵呵

    一種米養百樣人 以前人不是常醬說嗎 不過我覺得我家女兒跟你家愛兒的謹慎個性還挺像滴 終於找到知音嚕

    只能說 辛苦嚕 遲來的新年快樂 還有多多保重身體嚕^^

    • Emily@UK says:

      呃, 我不敢保證每個養兩個小孩的媽都一定會比當小姐的時候還瘦喔, 建議你要先瘦回去再懷孕, 這樣才不會一直累積脂肪, 更難瘦.

  • Debbie says:

    不知道跟排行有沒有關係~您內容形容的老大老二個性換尿布教東西等~我家姊姊跟妹妹跟愛兒及TIGER幾乎一模一樣啊~看的我頭一直點一點點(點頭如搗蒜啊)

  • smurfett says:

    I think there’s something to be said about #1 and #2. Mine’s the same way and a lot of my friends w/ 2 kids are kind of like that. You can’t discount that 9 months in the womb and the baby’s awareness of another child in the family from the moment he’s born.

    • Emily@UK says:

      排行和懷孕九個月的胎教肯定都有影響, 事實上, 我相信當初帶愛兒時候的我, 和現在同時帶愛兒和 Tiger 的我, 也不同了, 這肯定也有影響.
      factors 太多, 每個都要提及恐怕不可能, 但我想孩子的性格也是其中一個原因, 畢竟不是每個老二都愛笑, 一個朋友就形容她家老二為 anti-social, 超自閉.

  • 呵呵~~很能理解你現在的處境呢,我幫二寶換尿布的時候也是這樣喔,不可能乖乖讓我換的,所以看你的文字敘述,幫二寶換尿布的情景就出現了,真的是這樣呢~~

  • Jeanie says:

    Hi Emily,

    I enjoy reading your stories. I have a trick to share with you on diaper changing. Try putting stickers on Tiger’s hands when you change his diapers. It worked great (sometimes) when my son was Tiger’s age. Make sure he does not eat them. Good Luck!

    • Emily@UK says:

      我今天試了但無效耶. 我貼了一張貼紙在他的小手上, 但他立刻就拿起來了(他已經會用兩隻手指頭拿起體積小的物品這種精細動作了), 果然直接就塞嘴巴, 我光是顧著不讓他吃下去, 更難換尿布耶.
      可能是我做錯了, 要請妳解釋詳細一點喔, 謝謝分享!

      • jeanie says:

        唉 Tigher out smart my trick! Try bigger and stronger stickers. 再不行也不要勉強了…

  • jesi says:

    Emily家的虎兒真是個開心果笑的….
    愛兒也好壓….看來各有所長….
    女兒靜態愛思考….
    兒子動態愛活動….將將好!
    一對好兒女….挺令人羨幕滴

    • Emily@UK says:

      怎麼都被你說得這麼好!? 若換我就說: 女兒膽小如鼠, 兒子則是莽撞無知! 哈. 謝謝啦

  • 阿民 says:

    我家的預產期六月好緊張啊~

    • Emily@UK says:

      喔耶!! 恭喜恭喜! 嬰兒床等都該開始準備囉 (如果還沒的話), 這段時間能多睡點就多睡點吧, 因為你們都即將要跟睡眠說掰掰了, 哇哈哈! 甭擔心, 一定會順產母子均安的! 等你通知好消息喔!

  • Tea says:

    我家豆b現在11個月,和Tiger 性格很相似啊!
    很愛笑,
    換尿布時我也如臨大敵,要準備一些新玩具才可。
    有時未穿好尿布,褲子,我家豆b已爬走了。haha!

    我想,普遍男孩就是比女孩好動

    • Emily@UK says:

      也有看過很文靜的小男孩, 但普遍來說男孩的確比較好動我想, 起碼我家這兩隻是這樣. 加油, 豆b媽咪!

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