等不及要帶你們去看這世界

on Aug 16 in 育兒經 tagged by
Emily@UK - El looks after her little brother well

愛兒很會照顧弟弟!

 

朋友慶祝35歲生日,我們一群媽媽們一起出去吃晚餐,自從有小孩之後很愛這種只有大人的聚會,可以好好聊天講些有深度的話題,沒有被小孩干擾的顧慮,不必再假裝對卡通人物充滿興趣,甚至可以帶粗字地表達感受。
一個朋友說她和老公以前很愛旅行,但有兩個小孩之後,感嘆不能再像從前那樣參與有危險性的較刺激的活動,以防萬一小孩沒了母親。
我想,當了父母之後總會有這樣的遺憾,年輕時的願望還沒有達成,有了孩子之後不再能隨心所欲,下一個機會卻不知道得幾年以後。

我很幸運地已經旅遊過三十個國家,做了不少開眼界的事,看了不少令人驚艷的風光。
騎過駝鳥大象和駱駝,乘過快艇直升機滑翔翼,搭過熱氣球,看過各式各樣的地平線,也曾在滿天星斗下的非洲沙漠裡吃晚餐,玩過每一個迪士奈樂園。
因為旅遊,我的人生很是精彩,這一點我非常感謝我的父母,即便長大後和朋友們去自助旅行,我的娘親也總是非常支持與鼓勵,是那些經歷讓我開了眼界,開拓了心胸,學會適應,思考和接納。
正因為微見了這個世界的一角發現它是如此地令人興奮,讓我更期待愛兒和 Tiger 趕快長大,我等不及要帶他們去看這個世界,充滿驚奇和感動的世界。

朋友問我,那些我在旅途上做過的事之中,有哪些我想讓愛兒和 Tiger 也去經歷的?
我說,全部。如果我能帶著他們,把我去過的地方,經歷過的體驗,和他們一起都全部再來一遍,我會非常開心。
在旅遊這件事上,我期望自己能像我娘一樣,給我的孩子絕對的支持。

我八歲開始第一趟旅程的,現在憶起,更明白如何帶年幼的小旅行家們去體驗這個世界。
回想起我第一次出國是去日本北海道,小小年紀是不會記得所有細節的,例如旅館餐廳好壞,人文歷史建築,那是大人感興趣的事,對小孩來說那是無關緊要的。
讓我至今仍記憶鮮明的都是親身體驗,刺激感官,害怕擔心恐懼之後達成的喜悅,例如第一次滑雪。
我不是兒童心理專家,純粹是個人經驗,我想培養小旅行家的重點在於讓他們挑戰自己,在全然陌生的環境下做前所未見的事。

Emily@UK - Tiger 17 months old

Tiger 17個月大

 

我和 Steve 曾經討論過這個問題,我買車子房子都是夠大就好,買座豪宅讓人羨慕不是我想做的事。衣服日常用品等也不用貴,夠用好用就好,提個最新季限量發行的 Gucci 包讓人眼紅的感覺,還比不上好好讓人馬上兩節舒服。
但唯獨旅遊這件事,出了門就是要去體驗人生的,絕對不省,什麼特殊就玩什麼,什麼道地就吃什麼。我絕對不想為了省一點錢,搞得來了好像沒來,玩了好像沒玩似的。
每一趟旅遊都要值回票價,帶走的回憶和體驗要能讓我坐在搖椅上跟孫子和曾孫子講他們一輩子都聽不膩的故事的。

十歲吧。等愛兒滿十歲那一年,Tiger 也八歲了,到時候我們一起出門去看看這個世界,那些我看過了的,還沒看過的,都去看看吧。

58 Comments

  • phoenix says:

    帶小孩旅行去真的不是件容易的事 不過今年我卻極想帶著我兩歲多的小朋友一起去享受我曾經生活過的英國 並不是真的想旅行 只是想要帶著她去英國晃晃 去公園跑步 享受午後陽光 畢竟在亞洲充滿大草地的公園真的很少
    雖然後來我們選擇了北歐 雖然帶著小孩出們很累 但是還是很開心

    • Emily@UK says:

      愛兒一歲半的時候帶她去過法國, 但年紀太小, 不管去到哪兒玩的都一樣, 對於身邊的變化也啟發不大, 尤其法國和英國其實差別不大, 家庭旅遊的意義大過於栽培小旅行家.
      不管去哪兒都好, 就算只是家庭旅遊也很好, 培養感情啦!

  • Minda says:

    你好 我一直以來有在看您的blog的忠實觀眾
    每次看您育兒的部份都覺得非常有深度&非常用心…當然也採用了相同的方式教育我的愛兒,效果都不錯…
    我的愛兒目前3.6歲,還沒上學,您打算幾歲讓愛兒去上學?
    在台灣,上學時就得開始面臨孩子瘋狂感冒等問題…
    光想到這個就另我頭疼.所以我的孩子其實長這麼大幾乎沒有與小孩子一起遊戲過(剛好我身邊的人也都還沒人生孩子…)
    我對孩子感冒生病這件事情,非常有陰影,雖說未曾發生過什麼事.
    (應該是說我自己的弟弟是因為發燒產生白血病而在23歲離世,所以不知未啥地對於發燒這檔事就莫名會恐慌)
    所以導致我對孩子外出時有很多禁忌,例如說盡量少去公共場合,或者是戴上口罩之類的……
    大人若感冒也盡量在家都配戴口罩,以免相互傳染等狀況…
    坦白說,這樣一來,其實很多的快樂就會被抹滅掉…
    看到您寫的斗大標題,突然覺得我好像失去與孩子能無顧慮的遊玩情境..
    不過這種心魔真的很難克服,好難說服自己…
    想請問您關於這方面有什麼樣的見解,亦或者是其實想聽聽您的想法.
    (我需要被開導關於這方面…)

    • Emily@UK says:

      愛兒約兩歲半起至今都有去上幼稚園, 按照英國的教育體制, 滿4歲開始上小學, 所以她明年就會開始上學.
      但是, 從她滿月大起, 我們就一直都有讓她和其他年齡相近的小孩一起玩, 幾乎天天. 這一點我非常鼓勵, 讓他們學習和同儕互動社交禮儀, 很重要.
      即便頭一兩年小孩相處是處於平行式的, 就是各玩各的, 但讓他們 ‘知道’ 有其他人的存在很重要, 是為下個階段做準備.

      這邊有個媽媽朋友本身就不愛出門, 所以兒子出生後她也都很少帶出門, 一天她邀請我們去她家玩, 第一次見到愛兒的時候他躲在媽媽的懷裡一個多小時, 很怕愛兒, 即便愛兒比他小一歲.
      是那一天他媽媽才驚覺他兒子很習慣和大人相處, 但不知道怎麼跟其他小朋友互動. 現在她生了老二, 這一回她很努力地常帶兒子們和我們出去玩. 妳的故事讓我聯想到這個朋友.
      很遺憾聽到妳弟弟的事, 也完全可以了解你可能受到的影響和會有的莫名恐懼, 但過度保護小孩對他只有壞處沒有好處, 媽媽妳要堅強些, 為妳的愛兒跨出這一步.
      感冒發燒都是身體抵抗細菌病毒的徵兆, 某方面來說是好事. 在台灣小孩一點發燒就會送醫院打針吃藥, 英國則不, 只要沒有持續幾天高燒過38度, 根本不必看醫生, 吃小兒退燒藥多喝水就可以了, 還建議該玩的還是要玩, 可別因此就躺床不動呢!

      再怎麼保護小孩, 總有一天他們都會大到要妳放手的. 與其一直護著, 不如教他們怎麼保護自己, 什麼該注意, 什麼該笑笑就過.
      同樣上面這個媽媽朋友非常護著孩子, 小孩跌倒她總是極度心疼, 趕緊衝上去抱著又哄又親的, 現在老大4歲了, 摔跤了依舊會哭得很大聲, 讓他老爸常唸叨: 男孩子要堅強些.
      我家這兩隻相反, 他們跌倒了趴在地上看我, 我只問:’還好嗎?’, 然後他們自己爬起來拍一拍繼續去玩.
      但我們也經歷了之前愛兒在幼稚園裡摔傷頭, 沒哭也沒告訴老師, 我們去接她時才發現, 所以就得教她受傷時總要讓人知道, 因為若有需要緊急處理的話, 大人們才好幫她控制傷勢.
      他們只是孩子, 還在學習什麼是大事什麼是小事, 什麼需要講, 什麼可以自己處理就好 – 人生很複雜哪!

      加油!

  • Minda says:

    謝謝您耐心的回覆.
    我女兒的現象和你朋友的兒子相同,她很能與大人相處,但小朋友卻不,這部份也是我最近才意識到的,但因為明年她就要讀幼稚園,目前正想辦法看該如何讓她能習慣與小孩相處這事(因為身邊只有一個朋友有生孩子,其它都是未婚的狀態)
    所以您讓愛兒兩歲去讀書的時後,是否前段時間會一直發生孩子感冒的狀況?
    (因為台灣的幼兒園幾乎都是密閉式的,若是真想要諾大的操場可能要到公立學校才有)

    英國則不, 只要沒有持續幾天高燒過38度, 根本不必看醫生, 吃小兒退燒藥多喝水就可以了–>關於這部份,請問您大多都如何料理? 不用看醫生不擔心會有其它感冒所併發的問題嗎?

    • Emily@UK says:

      有沒有考慮先帶去參加一些兒童活動, 例如游泳, 奧福音樂等兒童班? 上課過程中總會讓小朋友有些互動的.

      前年回台灣時愛兒有上幼稚園, 但我無法確切地告訴妳那一定是幼稚園害的 (她一周去兩三天), 因為台灣和英國的大環境上的確不同, 我家這兩隻在英國都很少生病, 相較之下在台灣就算常生病.
      一開始上幼稚園會常感冒一段時間難免, 提高警覺但平常心看待, 英文有句俗語說: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! 就是越操越強壯啦!
      在英國醫生不輕易給藥, 帶去看醫生他也只會叫我再帶回家吃退燒藥多喝水而已, 所以我也都是這樣處理, 謹慎觀察但讓他們的免疫系統自己解決, 除非還有其他併發症狀或持續惡化, 不然帶去醫院反而讓小孩曝露在更多病源下.
      英國最有名的小兒專用退燒止痛藥叫做 calpol, 每個家庭都一定會有的, 就按照指示給. 但如果給藥後依舊持續高燒不退, 或尿量太少尿布乾一整天 (脫水), 筋攣抽蓄等其他症狀, 那當然就要趕快找醫生.

      小孩不可能不生病, 大人都不可能了, 是吧? 謹慎觀察, 但以平常心處理就是了. 大人如果表現得極度恐慌擔憂, 小孩會感受到的, 造成的負面情緒影響恐怕大過生病本身.
      加油!

  • Tea says:

    我和老公也是旅行友啊!
    喜歡去不同的國家感受,攀山下海,有了囝囝後,兩年沒搭飛機了!
    好不容易等到囝囝一歲多,飛個最短的行程 由澳門到墾丁
    雖然囝囝年紀少,不過看他多享受外遊的過程
    對大海 對煙火 對飛機 對新鮮的事. 感到好奇
    當然第一次的旅程也為我們增添非常美好的回憶

    雖然囝囝大了,必記不起現在的經歷
    我相信卻會潛在他心中^^

    • Emily@UK says:

      同意記憶未必深切, 但影響一定會有的.
      雖然我們每年都有帶小孩飛回台灣, 探索他們另一半血統的意義大過於旅遊, 但到截然不同地方總會玩些不一樣的東西, 那就算開眼界囉!

  • SAndy says:

    Tiger望著大海的照片好經點喔^^.

  • Minda says:

    非常謝謝EMILY媽咪..看完您的回覆後,我腦海裡的想法有一些改變.
    或許真的太過緊張導致無法享受應該享受的樂趣(我&孩子都是).
    其實蠻欣賞你的很多方式(不管是單身&當娘之後),我在好久以前無意間發現你的BLOG後,就真的很認真的把所有文章全部都看完.
    當然也羨慕你可以在家帶孩子順便工作….
    不過我想就算我無法這麼做仍是會有不同的變通方式的….
    依稀還記得你當時在生第一胎時發生的狀況,真的也把我嚇壞了(我當時也有偷偷的擔心)
    真的好偉大哦…而且想法超讚的!
    謝謝你不厭其煩的回覆我的問題,或許我的問題有點笨,
    不過我牢牢記得你說的哦,我會試著實行看看的!謝謝你~~

    • Emily@UK says:

      謝謝你的支持打氣! 剛好今天收到一個朋友來信, 信裡說到: “有時退一步看,會看見一個有明顯需要的孩子,和一個不知所措的母親。別忘了,每個人都是新手媽咪,都是和孩子一塊成長,請容許自己可以犯錯。” 覺得很有道理, 加油, 我們都要和孩子們一起成長呢!

  • KoHsin Illingworth says:

    dear emily , i am wondering is there a possibility that you can write a article about how to apply British citizenship and passport fully . cause i am a loyal reader of yours and i always look into your section of (UK-taiwan marriage section ) its extremely useful for me . i already got the indefinately to remain in UK . have been fully married to my hubby for 3.5 years .so i need applying citizenship . could u advice me or write another article in ur secontion for everyone who find useful for us ? especially those immigration wifes.

  • Erin says:

    Emily,

    我是Erin, Genie的國中朋友~ 還有印象嗎? 呵呵~
    想請教你有關於英國vitabiotics的助孕維他命
    http://www.vitabiotics.com/pregnacare/pregnacareplus_productinfo_bountypack.aspx
    網路上有些媽媽推薦這個牌子的維他命也說似乎是英國銷售第一的
    不知道是否依你的經驗也推薦呢?

    因為我打算訂購一些回台灣, 想先請教你的經驗~

    Thanks a lot!

  • Wendy says:

    你好 最近在為簽証的事一直上網查資料 正好看到你的文章
    我男友也是英國人 我現在也是只有六個月的免簽入英國
    明年一月就要回台灣了 但是看到申請unmarried和之後結婚後的妻子visa的申請錢就一個頭兩個大 他現在也有一份穩定的工作 但實在不想為了結婚付給英國政府那麼多錢 哈哈
    我們也有考慮到香港結婚 不曉得現在題否還行的通 我有連結到您提供在香港結婚的姐妹的blog但那個好像已經關閉了 請問你有關於在香港結婚的更詳細資訊嗎?
    感激不盡
    Wendy

  • Mei Mei says:

    Hi Emily,
    不好意思 在這邊想問你其他的問題
    想知道 你都去哪裡買小孩的衣服呢
    我記得你說你喜歡給女兒穿的那種小澎澎裙 我也很喜歡想買給我女兒穿
    逛了很多店 要不就是太貴40-50鎊 要不就款式太不討喜
    請你分享一下 感恩

    潛水媽媽 Mei

    • Emily@UK says:

      現在 Next 有出一款芭蕾舞者的澎澎裙, 還不錯~ 之前愛兒穿的不少都是台灣品牌 Why and 1/2 的.
      常逛的還有 Gap, Zara, H&M, 反正就到處看囉

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