沒錢,這樣花錢?(Part II)

on Nov 12 in 胡思亂想 tagged by

從有錢人家的寶貝女兒突然變成人家的老婆,人家的媽;
從買一個十萬塊的包包不眨眼,到每個月 4 萬塊要養 3 口人;
即便有父母親幫忙支付著生活開銷,但那心情上的調適還是很需要時間.

天下父母心,總想給孩子最好的.
但,給不給的起,多好才叫做「最好」,卻是關鍵.


沒工作過,沒賺過錢,沒報過稅,更沒有自己繳過信用卡,成家之後是她第一次管錢.
花錢的習慣與慾望,大過於理智,大過於存款的數字,沒有帳簿,沒有預算控管.
什麼該花,什麼不該花,比較像是憑心情,憑個人喜好決定.
這樣的結果是,每個月他們都透支,信用卡公司成了他們的最大債主.
愛面子,不敢跟父母說,直到債築高台,壓的她不得不出聲求救,那時,他們已經背下超過 80 萬的債務.

大家都不懂,父母已經幫忙支付絕大部分的生活開銷,這債務是所為何來?!她這才只好說了.
老公因為工作的關係東奔西跑,養車開銷大是其一.
其二,孩子開銷大,因為她堅持要上最好的學校,要用最好的,吃最好的.她說:「自己省一點沒關係,孩子一定要用最好的」.
其三,則是因為她無法忍受這急驟變化下的委屈,有時會以「揮霍」來彌補自己.

你或許已經發現,第二點和第三點基本上是互相矛盾的.
她其實並沒有辦法做到「自己省一點沒關係」,不然就不會有第三點的問題.
這是她最大的盲點.

如果可以,我們當然都想給孩子最好的,但,什麼叫做最好的?最貴的就最好?
這個迷思,我想我們都還要再想想,到底是為大人的面子好?說起來比較好聽?還是 真的 為孩子好?

如今我自己在學費昂貴的私立學校裡教書,我想我將來不會把我自己的孩子送去那裡.
我希望我的孩子懂的尊重,體會家境富足的幸福,但也尊敬窮人家父母一樣用心在扶養他們的孩子.
我希望我的孩子懂的感恩,知道自己擁有的一切是恩惠,還願意與其他人分享.
我希望我的孩子懂的體諒,知道父母親用心教育的辛苦,還要能體會貧窮人家心有餘而力不足的心情.
這些,比他學會驕傲,認為自己比其他人強,更重要.

台灣的父母,不管窮富,都肯花一大筆錢讓孩子們學習,上最好的學校,上最貴的補習班.
Stevie 第一次來台灣找我的時候就發現了這個現象,他問我:「為什麼?」
我說:「當然是為了孩子好阿,醬他們才不會輸給人家阿!」我自己也是從小補到大的嘛.
他問我:「補成這樣,台灣也沒出幾個諾貝爾,或者世界名人阿!」
我無言,他沒說錯.
他說:「英國沒人補習,學生從早上9點多上課,到下午3點就回家踢足球了,還不一樣出了好幾個諾貝爾獎,好幾個名人.」
他說:「你們只是在強迫他們記得,卻沒有給他們時間思考阿! 就只顧著一直塞一直塞...」
他說的黯然,還有點義憤填膺,好像是在講他兒子一樣...
我想,我們就是從那時候起有了共識,孩子將來都要在英國上課的,也因此進而決定了我們會在英國生根.

父母最後幫他們還清了債務,她則剪掉了所有的信用卡,深切了解這項產物對她而言並不適用.
夫妻的事業也漸漸上軌道,她也慢慢懂的花錢之前要先看一下帳簿裡的數字,開始知道有一種東西叫做「預算」.
我想,這應該是個好的開始.

題外話:
有點常識的人應該都知道,信用卡的循環利息是很驚人的合法高利貸.
你若直接去跟銀行貸款,都不會比欠信用卡的錢慘...

579 Comments

  • Cassidy says:

    我永遠都搞不清楚信用卡的循環利息
    所以我不會欠錢
    因為我也不喜歡吃虧^^
    就算不吃飯也得先把錢繳清

  • kathy says:

    說到這個,美國人的思考邏輯就更怪了
    一個人信用的好壞,端視你”借貸”的寡多而定
    注意上句的順序喔!! 借的多,信用愈高呢!
    不懂啊~~~

  • 阿民 says:

    我也身受其害過,不過也不能怪銀行…
    銀行也沒逼我刷,先爽後痛苦本來就是個人意志跟意願的事情~
    現在台灣的銀行都在抽銀根,都在停止發卡或是從嚴審查!
    因為目前的估計銀行光呆帳或是每月因為信用卡宣布破產的人就有上萬,看現在E世代的年輕人消費,就覺得心寒,我曾在誠品買東西結帳時,看前面那位少年兄,一張卡刷不過換一張,因為每張大概都爆了,所以他就一張一張試,這種現象真是恐怖啊~

  • Margaret says:

    **因為她無法忍受這急驟變化下ㄉ委屈,有時會以「揮霍」來彌補自己** — 這是難以抑制的, 用揮霍來解壓, 越揮霍壓力越大, 壓力越大就越揮霍. 變成了一個vicious circle.

    在北美借錢,還錢來做信用. 不過借多也要還的起啊. 剛來加拿大買房子要貸款因為我們沒有credit history所以只貸我們30%. 後來別人告訴我們去Sears申請他們的卡買東西, balance不要一次付清, 分三, 四次還. 我還心想, 怎麼這些人這麼俗? 不一次付清是因為沒錢, 啊我有錢爲什麼不能付清呢?

    Anyway, this is how it works here….

  • 小邱 says:

    收入-儲蓄=支出
    這樣存錢快喔!!給大家參考一下!!

  • helenna says:

    想想~~現在台灣民間貸款數字是越來越大.
    都快跟國債比例balance了.
    許多年輕人鬍渣都還沒冒出來就債臺高築..
    這麼多的呆帳躺在那
    國家競爭力都快被這些消費性貸款給壓扁.

    跟”錢”開玩笑??
    那只是要了人的”命”..

  • vicky~* says:

    我也是剛結婚,看到這兩篇文章,感觸很深…

    真的是從事事靠父母的大小姐,搖身一變,成為斤斤計較的管家婆,
    大部分的朋友,都還在享受單身生活呢..

  • amy says:

    我也有看過關于大陸和英國的教育差異,就是一個想法,但願國内的教育越來越向素質教育,但是還是很希望讓自己的小孩在英國接受教育,誰讓那的學習氛圍好,小孩子不用在高壓下填鴨呢

    可是,也不是所有的父母有這心並且有這個能力讓自己的小孩到英國去:(

    可憐天下父母心,可憐天下小孩兒心~~

  • emily says:

    dear Cassidy,
    聰明ㄉ孩子, 千萬別讓銀行賺那循環利息!

    dear kathy & Margaret,
    哈, 我也不懂, 大概是”怕還不起”=”沒錢”… 依此來說, 那我還沒錢! 有錢也不花在繳利息上!

    dear 阿民,
    的確是使用ㄉ人自己要負責ㄉ事情, 不能怪銀行… 現在繳清了吧?
    年紀輕輕就信用破產, 真ㄉ是很恐怖耶!

    Hello, 小邱,
    有時候支出=收入, 完全沒有儲蓄可言ㄉ空間… 我正要寫一篇關於這個ㄉ文章呢!

    dear helenna,
    “國家競爭力都快被這些消費性貸款給壓扁”… ^_^b 真ㄉ是很誇張…

    dear vicky,
    總是有得有失啦, 慢慢調適, 每個女人都是這樣走過來ㄉ, 我們一起加油喔!!

    dear amy,
    “不是所有的父母有這心並且有這個能力讓自己的小孩到英國去”… 沒錯, 大部份ㄉ父母可能都沒有這個能力, 但他們對於孩子一樣是用心栽培, 這就已經値得孩子感恩了!

  • Sita says:

    你家stevie可說得一針見血
    棒…..
    你有個有智慧的老公!

  • karen says:

    這就是我在台灣不想生孩子的原因…
    唉~

  • whawha says:

    簡單賺錢:
    我們常常可以在留言板上看到這一類的文章,一開始我也是根本沒理會過,當時我心裡想天下哪有這麼好的事,這一定是個騙局!但想想為何每次上網就常常看到,也沒聽過新聞報導說這是騙人的!很多人其實都賺到錢而且也沒問題?
    你或許不相信,但已有太多人賺到了。你若放棄,就是把機會讓給別人去賺了,。現在最重要的是耐心往下看了,機會是給有耐心及信心的人,最重要的是心動不如馬上行動了。
    俗話說的好:「錢四腳,人兩腳。」賺錢永遠比不上花錢的速度;如果,還在用打工在賺錢的話,建議你用錢滾錢比較快。只要花500元和5張郵票即可賺進好幾萬,這絕對合法的,大家一定要試試看,照著以下說明去做做看。
    請仔細看看以下的賺錢方法這個計畫相當簡單,你必須做的就是,寄台幣100元給文章內所提到的五個人,然後將你自己的名字地址放在第五個人的地方,然後將這篇文章張貼在至少250個留言板〈討論區〉,內容差不多就行了,就是這麼簡單。於是我決定試試看,我想我也沒有什麼太大的損失,頂多是台幣500元和5張郵票吧!現在,雖然無法像其他人講的,可以賺幾百萬,幾千萬,但要賺個幾千塊,幾萬塊,絕不是難事。所以這500元的投資是值得的!
    以下是細節~~敬請詳細看,要完完全全照著以下的說明做~如此你才可以在短短得時間內賺到錢,是不是真的你試了就知道喔!
    ※第一步:
    拿五張空白的紙張,並在每一張紙上寫上以下字樣:『請將我放入您的郵遞名單中』。再將五張一佰元的紙鈔分別以剛才寫好的紙張包起來,以確保從信封外無法看到裡面裝的紙鈔,才不會被不肖之徒將郵件拿走。把五張紙分別裝入信封內並密封起來〈不可用訂書機!〉此時,你手邊應有五個密封的信封,其中分別裝著上述字樣的紙張及一佰元的紙鈔。
    這樣你就完成了郵遞名單事業的第一步了。這是完全合法的!
    接下來請你將這五個信封分別寄給下面這五個地址:
    1.柯湘婷:(115)台北市南港區同德路49號4樓
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    3.楊采霈:(737)台南縣鹽水鎮岸內里松子腳1之2號
    4.林貞如:(238)台北縣樹林市味王街46巷29號2樓
    5.謝美華:(300)新竹市光復路二段645號五樓之一
    ※第二步:
    現在將上面第一個人的名字及地址從名單上拿掉,並依序將剩餘的四個人的名字地址往上移,即本來在第五位者移到第四位,第四位移到第三位,以此類推,並將你自己的名字及地址加在名單上的第五位。
    ※第三步:
    依照需要修改本文,但是請盡量保持原文的內容,現在將你修改過的文章貼在至少250個留言板〈討論區〉,目前大概總共約有35000個留言板〈討論區〉,你張貼的留言板〈討論區〉越多,就有越多人回信,你就賺得越多,就這麼簡單!
    接下來我必須告訴你為什麼這樣做能賺大錢的原因,更何況假設只有五個人回應,你會得到名字在第五位時500元,更何況只有五個人的回應明顯偏低,平均來說大約會有20-30人回應,假設是15人的話,你將會賺進:
    1.名字在第五位時1,500元
    2.名字在第四位時22,500元
    3.名字在第三位時337,500元
    4.名字在第二位時5,062,500元
    5.名字在第一位時75,937,500元
    最後,請您記住 ”誠實為上,互助合作” 的原則,務必將錢寄給名單上的人,因為如果您不把錢寄給名單上的人,卻在名單中加入您的姓名而張貼在新聞群組的話,讓那些原來您應該回饋給他的人在網上發現的話,則所有人將會在網路上大力評擊您,不但讓您無法收到錢,更會令您名譽掃地,所以請您務必以誠實為上。
    如果你真的有心想賺錢,請試試這個方法,讓您簡單賺錢,輕輕鬆鬆變成大富翁!!!
    祝你好運!

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