此生僅此一次的自然產

on Jan 25 in Emily 大事紀, [育兒經] 愛兒, 懷孕日記 tagged by

產後出血 (Post-Partum Haemorrhage:PPH):胎兒在出生後,母親陰道出血超過 500ml 稱為產後出血.
(資料來源:臺大醫院網站)

這就叫做「人算不如天算」.
平常很少生病,懷孕過程也症狀不多,不怎麼難過,娘親和姐姐的生產經驗亦都相當順利,所以我想都沒想過自己生產的時候會有這般情景.
之前為了生產而擔心得要死的事,諸如妊娠紋和身材恢復,當真生產之後都成了小事,都是最不需要擔心的事.

1 月 18 日午夜零點,上廁所的時候發現「落紅」了,因為正在上廁所,所以我自己也無法確定到底羊水有沒有破.原來「落紅」並不是真的紅色,因為混著黏稠的液體,比較像是粉紅色的.
然後開始可以感受到子宮收縮的陣痛,起初不明顯,我以為是肚子痛,但當它從一開始的不規則陣痛,變成每五分鐘就痛一次,每次都痛上一分鐘,我才意識到這或許就是生產的開始了.
和醫院電話聯絡了幾次之後,因為疼痛加強,而我對疼痛的忍受度極低,半夜兩點多 Midwife 建議我到醫院去一趟.


檢查後得知子宮頸開了三公分,問題是,直到中午 12 點,整整 12 個小時之後,我的子宮頸依然只開三公分,完全沒有進展,於是助產士和我商量後決定打催生藥,加速進展.
因為我怕痛,請來了專門的技術師做 Epidural (無痛分娩),接著才經由靜脈注射點滴打催生藥,到了靠近 19 日午夜,子宮頸終於全開,進入最後接生的階段.
兩位 Midwifes (助產士) 來幫我接生,Steve 和我娘各站在我的左右邊,握著我的手.
就如同電視上演的那般,跟著陣痛的節奏,我很努力地用力要把小孩擠出來,但是卻徒勞無功.
愛兒不算小,加上她的頭因為長時間的陣痛而腫了起來,而我的骨架算瘦,這些都增加了生產的困難度.
我拼命用力地擠,孩子卻怎也出不來,我氣餒地想揍 Steve,破口大罵了他,還兇了我娘,最後則是累得快暈過去.如果不是已經騎虎難下,懷孕到此時也不能再喊退貨,我肯定會舉白旗,不生了.

然後助產士說,胎兒和我的心跳都急速上升,為了安全起見不能再拖下去,他們必須請醫生來幫忙把小孩吸出來.這時候的我已經累到心情惡劣,只要能把胎兒生出來,什麼辦法我都可以接受.
在醫生的指令下,我又氣又餒,心不甘情不願地再依著陣痛用力了幾次,幾乎累得快要神智不清,差點兒暈過去,還吼了醫生一句「Just get her out of me!」,終於聽見了孩子的哭聲!
助產士將孩子放到我的胸前,「Hello」我疲憊地笑說,近距離地看著這折騰人的小傢伙,暗自慶幸終於到了苦難的盡頭,我終於可以倒頭睡個好覺.
忽然護士們快速地把孩子抱走,我連是男生女生都忘了問,沒多久就眼前一片黑,昏了過去.

這之後發生的事情,因為我昏昏沉沉,記憶片片段段,我最記得的不過就是一個痛.
一次醒來發現小小的產房裡人數暴增,上次我醒著的時候不過三個人在幫我接生,這下子竟擠了約十來位醫護人員.
下次醒來房裡又多了一位麻醉師,他搖醒我問了我一個問題,但我不記得他問了什麼,也不確定我有沒有回答他.
然後我再度昏睡過去,耳邊聽見他和醫生的對話,醫生急著要做些什麼,可是麻醉師要他再等兩分半鐘之類的.
也隱約記得有個護士跟我說她要給我抽血做檢查.
隱約記得我娘叫醒我問 上次手術 的時候我有沒有輸血,我說沒有,事後我娘跟我說我並沒有回答她就又昏睡了去.
麻醉藥漸漸退去,產房裡恢復了平靜,下次我再醒來是因為聽見了我娘難以壓抑,崩潰式的哭聲.

正常情況下,胎兒生出來之後,隨著胎盤的剝離,理當觸發子宮自然收縮產生止血的效果,可是我的子宮卻沒有收縮,因而造成大出血,必須緊急急救.
聽 Steve 和我娘形容,短短的時間裡,地板上一大灘血,不多不少,2000 毫升,剛好是四杯木瓜牛奶潑在地上那樣血流成河.
醫生趕緊增添人手,護士一個一個地叫進來幫忙,產房裡的棉球紗布用到不夠,派護士去把其他產房裡的都拿來用依舊不足,最後還得去倉庫裡拿.
一向紳士的英國醫生或許因為壓力指數標高,還兇了護士:「當我說我要什麼,我現.在.就要!」
過程中我血壓正常,發燒,但最令人擔心的是脈搏跳得相當快,Steve 說當時每分鐘190次,嚇!而且居高不下.
每一次感受到疼痛,我的心跳就再更快些,擔心我的心臟會罷工,他們必須將我全身麻醉,好讓醫生進行更進一步止血的措施,所以叫來了麻醉師.

因為事發突然,所有的醫療人員都急著搶救,沒有人跟家屬解釋到底是怎麼一回事,Steve 只得憑著醫護人員之間的對話去了解狀況,英文程度有限的我娘自是不了解原由,抱著哄著哭泣中的孩子,除了擔心,瞎猜,胡思亂想,怕自己擋著醫護人員的路,只能眼睜睜地看著我流血不止,不停祈禱罷了.
我娘連哭都不敢,怕嚇著手裡抱著的孩子,直到醫護人員們終於成功地止了血,完成了急救,退出了產房,Steve 這才終於有機會坐下來,從我娘那兒接過了孩子,一瞬間我娘就再也難忍情緒,潰堤成聲.

還好今天的醫藥發達,早 30 年前的話,我肯定是要離開人世的.
雖然嚇壞了家人親友們,但有驚無險,安慰自己「大難不死必有後福」啦,畢竟 我還在這兒,女兒還有她娘,老公還有老婆,父母還有女兒,這都是值得謝天的事!
被嚇壞了的 Steve 說他已經打消了要再生小孩的念頭,反倒是我自己覺得還好,只不過下次要直接剖腹產就是了,我想也沒有醫生會願意讓我自然產了吧.
因為大量失血造成血中血紅素較低,醫生建議輸血,可是我認為輸血本身也是一種風險,在距離標準值不算太多的情況下,我堅持回家食補就好,於是醫生開了鐵劑做補充,這便是我現在休息調養的最大重點.
我娘每天努力地燉煮食材為我補身,我也拼命地吃,什麼減肥塑身都是以後的事,差點沒了命,身材再好也沒用,是唄?
助產士千交代萬囑咐要我至少幾個星期別出門,要注意多休息,昏倒,易發冷汗等貧血症狀.

雖然經歷了一場,但因為女兒「愛兒」的到來,讓我覺得這一切都很值得.
我很慶幸她健康平安,她也相當善體人意地很好帶,當然我更慶幸自己還在這兒,可以抱抱她,聞她身上的奶香,看她笑,看她皺眉,看她哭的時候那氣極揮手舞足的俏模樣.
愛兒除了黑頭髮黑眼睛,五官都比較像老公,手長腳長的也都像他.
請容我這當娘的自賣自誇,我真覺得她很可愛,常想我這麼醜的人,怎麼生得出這麼可愛的小孩?或許是 Steve 的基因強些吧,謝天阿!
她很乖,不會亂哭亂吵鬧,食量不小或許是像我,出生的第四天已經可以一餐喝完 90 毫升的牛奶.
我們原本是計畫要餵母乳的,但經過了這麼戲劇化的生產過程,我本身已經是虛脫軟弱,傷痕累累,加上按照醫生指示地服用著各種藥物,止痛消腫去淤補血等等,評估之後認為不管是生理上或心理上我的狀況都不適合哺餵母奶,所以決定放棄.

這一個星期我的「外傷」已經恢復不少,貧血的問題需要至少數個月時間才有可能修復,所以還在調養中.
謝謝大家的祝福與關心!

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